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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #21
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    Talking

    Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper ?

    Husband : Nothing.

    Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??

    Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.
    **********

    Q - What is the difference between Mother & Wife?

    A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
    **********

    Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

    Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

    Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?

    Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
    **********

    Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

    Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

    Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet
    .

  2. #22
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    Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
    The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech.

    She said that she will voluntarily let go off the rope, because as a woman she is used to give up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.

    As soon as she finished her speech, all men started clapping their hands........

  3. #23
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    You guys make my day

  4. #24
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    oh good ones Mooon and islamirama!!
    \'In Your name O Allaah, I live and die.\'

  5. #25
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    Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level ofthe pond increases. How?

    A - The other 9 fish are crying

  6. #26
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    Once a Turkish goes to USA and meets President Bush. Bush takes him to a jungle to prove that Americans are technologically advanced. In the jungle, Bush asks the Turkishto start digging. He keeps on digging. When he reaches 100ft Bush tells him to start searching.The Turkish finds a piece of wire .Bush proudly says "You see; even 100 years back we had telephone".

    At this the Turkish gets really annoyed.

    Next year Bush comes to Turkey. The Turkish takes him to a jungle and tells him to start digging. Bush digs 100 ft and stops. The Turkish tells him to continue. He digs 200ft. The Turkish tells him to continue. Bush finally reaches 400ft and Turkish tells him to stop. But Bush doesn't find anything and is annoyed. Bush asks the Turkish "What did you want to prove?". The Turkish replies "Even 400 years back we had wireless".


  7. #27
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    LOL!!! Teach bush a lesson orite!
    ان الله لا ينظر الى صوركم و اموالكم و لكن ينظر الى قلو بكم واعمالكم

    Allah does not look at your faces nor your wealth, but looks at your hearts and your actions!!!

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taalibah 4 Life!
    LOL!!! Teach bush a lesson orite!
    You are kidding right? Lesson and Bush, nah dont go together!
    **********************************
    If Allah brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
    Happy moments, praise Allah.
    Difficult moments, seek Allah.
    Quiet moments, worship Allah.
    Painful moments, trust Allah.
    Every moment, thank Allah.

    **********************************

    www.witness-pioneer.org

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mohsina
    You are kidding right? Lesson and Bush, nah dont go together!
    Thats a joke in itself! :p

  10. #30
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    Q: How do you recognize Minto's son, Tony, in School?

    A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.



  11. #31
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    What's Ford?
    Minto: Car.
    What's Oxford?
    Minto: So simple, A Car with a Ox.

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooon
    What's Ford?
    Minto: Car.
    What's Oxford?
    Minto: So simple, A Car with a Ox.
    What's FORD?

    Fix Or Repair Daily

    say what?

    Found On Road Dead!

  13. #33
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    Once Upon a Time in the States a man is taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

    A Journalist who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

    The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

    "Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'"
    - the Journalist answers.


    "But I am not an American!" - says the man.


    "Oh, what are you then? "


    The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!"


    The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog

  14. #34
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    Let us be generous like this :


    Four Ants are moving through a forest.

    They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

    Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
    Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

    Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
    Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


  15. #35
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    Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

    When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.

    The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

    Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

  16. #36
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    lol!!!!!
    ان الله لا ينظر الى صوركم و اموالكم و لكن ينظر الى قلو بكم واعمالكم

    Allah does not look at your faces nor your wealth, but looks at your hearts and your actions!!!

  17. #37
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    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.

    "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
    "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

    The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried..

    The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

  18. #38
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    This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test.. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first."

    Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs,

    "The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

  19. #39
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    Wink

    Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. "Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

    So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

    The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

  20. #40
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    moon ur jokes are hilarious, today has been a trying day for me.....after laughing so hard i will b able to go to sleep with a smile


 

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