Welcome to the Net Muslims Forums.
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    2

    Default completely new to this world!

    Hello all,

    I am completely new to the muslim or islamic world. My mother will marry a muslim man and will become a muslim soon.

    My soon-to-be stepfather wants me to become a muslimah too, and he expects me to follow certain rules and he is more strict than I am used to it.

    These rules are mostly about clothes, boys and the way I talk.

    I come from Germany and I'm 15 years old and just need to know everything about islam.

    yours

    Sophie

  2. #2
    Member Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    10,285

    Default

    Hello Sophie,

    Welcome to the forum!

    Islam is a really easy and straight forward religion. Islam is not just a religion, it is a way of life that governs every aspect of a Muslim's life. My advice to you would be to take it one step at time and try to learn as much about Islam as you can. It will not only help you understand it better but also be in a position where you will be able to see what is part of Islam and what is part of culture, which in turn will help you practice the religion more mindfully and not be pushed along into doing cultural stuff you don't want to.

    Regarding the rules you mentioned. In Islam, much like Christianity and Judaism, we dress modestly and respect our bodies. Men and women have different amount of covering required due to the nature of their makeup and their life styles. Regarding talking to the opposite gender, it is something that is allowed in limited sense and out necessity in order to keep the hearts pure and avoid any inappropriate relationships. Lastly, i'm not sure how you talk or what he would like you to pay attention to but in general, Islam encourages good decent and positive talk where foul language, disrespect of ours or inappropriate manner of speaking is discouraged.

    Here's a good introduction to Islam: http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/intro_islam.htm

    In addition, there's lot of good information here so do check that out.

    And lastly, you're welcome to ask any questions, post any concerns or topics you like to discuss on here

  3. #3
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Thank you for your nice and warm words. They made me feel welcome here.

    You mentioned inappropriate relationships. My stepfather (I'll call him that, because I don't want to write the "soon-to-be" every time) wants me to stop going out alone in the evenings to make sure that I won't get to much time alone with boys or young men. I think that's what you'd call inappropriate?

    I can understand his wish, but I am not sure if I really want to change that much of my life.

    You are right that I should learn a lot about Islam and I already started a bit by attending a school for it 2 times a week in the afternoon. I can't make any decision before I don't know enough about it.

    My stepfather doesn't want me to wear skirts that let my knees be seen and he doesn't like it when I wear pants. I stopped wearing jeans in a first step to let him see that I am ready to compromise and that I take him seriously.

    One of the first private things he wanted to know was whether I am still a virgin. Why is that so important?

  4. #4
    Member Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    10,285

    Default

    You're welcome, it's great that you are taking the initiative to learn about Islam.

    In Islam, interactions between the sexes are permitted within certain limits specified by the Quran and the Sunnah (saying and example of Prophet). It is discouraged to hang out with the opposite gender unless they are blood relatives. This is to protect us from falling into illicit relationships. Dating and premarital relationships is not allowed in Islam. Islam encourages purity and allows the relationship of a man and a woman in the sacred bond of marriage only. Satan is an enemy of Mankind and is always tempting us to do evil. So Islam not only prohibits that which is not allowed but also any paths that could lead to it (such as mingling of the sexes). Going out with guys and hanging with them late into the evenings would be considered inappropriate.

    Dressing conservatively is a sign of modesty and something many people in the world do. Even conservative Christians don't wear clothing that is tight or revealing. Tight clothing and short clothing only attracts unwanted attention and harassment from others. Islam has set guidelines of hijab (covering) for men and women in order to protect them. Qurans says regarding that:

    “O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)


    “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).

    “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognized and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)

    You can read more about hijab and it's criteria here: http://alforkan.blogspot.com/2013/03...for-hijab.html

    Regarding private things, if it is something of private nature then he shouldn't be asking you for that. That is something a mother would ask. As for virginity, Islam encourages maintaining purity and allows man-women relationships in the bond of marriage only. A look at the world, the STDs and the teen pregnancies shows effect the tribulations and breaking down of the family has on society. So a virginity till marriage shows the signs of modesty and purity and that you have stayed away from premarital relationships and the sin of lust.

    Losing virginity outside of marriage is one of the greatest sins (zina = fornication) one can commit in Islam. This is the reason Islam strongly encourages marriage early and makes it lawful after one reaches puberty. The prophet (peace be upon him) recommended fasting to dim the urge. Furthermore, the Quran orders us to lower our gaze which can feed the desire.

    Furthermore, Allah forbids one who has committed fornication or adultery from marrying a pious believer. The Quran says the following regarding this (translation):

    The adulterer marries not but an adulteress or a Mushrikah and the adulteress none marries her except an adulterer or a Muskrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely he is either an adulterer, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater, etc.) And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress, etc.)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism). [24.3]

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    362

    Default

    As'salaamu alaikum (peace be upon you) Sophie,

    Welcome to the forum, I hope you benefit from here as we have ton of information in the Islamic section of the forum. In addition to what islamirama has shared, here's another good introduction to Islam.

    https://zindeen.wordpress.com/islam/

  6. #6
    Administrator Array
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Location
    21° 30' N, 39° 10' E
    Posts
    4,554

    Default

    Sophie, welcome to Net Muslims. If you have any specific questions, don't be shy.

  7. #7

    Default

    Have you said your Shahadah!....


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •