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  1. #1
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    Apr 2010

    Default Polygyny:A Blessing in Disguise

    By Meriem Ezzaoui

    Redefining the halal and haram is an illness that is spreading rampantly through our ummah. Many Muslims have chosen to define what is permissible and what is prohibited in order to suit their personal needs. These 'modern' definitions are against the commands of Allah(subhanahu wa ta'ala) and the Prophet's(peace be upon him) sunnah and hadith. To prohibit the halal and permit the haram is a grave sin.

    We are not allowed to prohibit that which Allah (swt) decreed as His favor upon us. It has been forbidden many times within the Qur'an. Allah (swt) says "And do not say, concerning the falsehood which your tongues utter, "This is halal and that is haram," in order to fabricate a lie against Allah; assuredly those who fabricate a lie against Allah will not prosper" (16:116) Why then do we women tend to practice this act of disbelief?

    Many of you will ask yourselves when have you done this. One word will explain, polygyny. This simple harmless word is the root to our sin. Hearing or reading this word can cause our bodies to react physically. The face cringes, the stomach turns and shivers run throughout our body. Unlike most words this word assumes the role of an enemy. A dark enemy that threatens to take away a valuable possession, our husbands. We must remind ourselves that our husbands are not our possession but a gift from Allah . How can we 'own' another person when we do not even 'own' ourselves? Part of our inner jihad is to reeducate our thoughts on male-female relations. Our minds have been clouded by the Western institution of marriage which forbids polygyny.

    The marriage structure and marital relations of the West influence many Muslims around the world. We have come to accept the idea of one man one women despite the evidence that these relations often fail quickly and easily and bring more harm to society than good. So why are we so eager to accept a Western practice that clearly does not work the majority of the time? Are we, as an ummah, afraid to be different? Are we trying to blend in with the kufr when we should be setting the example? The Prophet (pbuh), as narrated by Abu Hurayrah, said, " Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tiding to the strangers". Allah (swt) says: "O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the women of the believers to draw upon them their over-garments. That is more appropriate so that they may be recognized and not molested." (33:59). Allah (swt) has not commanded us to hide because we are different from the kufr and the People of the Book. Quite the contrary, we are told to be proud of our differences. We must call to mind frequently that these differences are in fact blessings given to us from Al- Wahhaab. The acceptance of polygyny will strengthen our ummah. Jealousy will subside, extra-martial affairs will decrease, single, widowed, divorced sisters and orphans will have protectors and maintainers.

    Although, most of us do not declare out loud "Polygyny is haram" the actions and opinions of many support this statement. When our sisters demand that the marriage contract include an 'escape clause' in case of a second wife they are essentially stating that polygyny is haram. The same can be said of women who make it impossible , through personal and financial demands, for a husband to marry another (a right Allah gave all men). Yes, these sisters are not prohibiting polygyny for all, just for their husbands. Instead of helping a sister in need perhaps they are pushing her to sin.

    The Sunnah of our Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) allow both polygynous and monogamous marriages. Uthman and Omar were also married to more than one women. Is not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the model of the perfect Muslim? Were not Uthman and Omar part of the holiest generations of Muslims? Yet, many try to prove that polygyny is not recommended. A monogamous society is idealistic but not realistic. Human society is not designed for one woman-one man due to death, divorce and believing women outnumbering believing men . Monogamy is more harmful than beneficial to the Muslim ummah. It lacks stability and leads to chaos. This statement is supported by the condition of monogamous societies which suffer from high divorce rates, extra-marital affairs, teen pregnancy and single mothers.

    Sisters, let us return to the Sunnah and the example set by the Sahabah. These men and women should always remain our role models. Let us try to refrain from condemning their actions as we do when we criticize polygyny. Let us assist our sisters who need a home, love and support. Instead of badmouthing the second wife we should thank Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for His Compassion. Imagine if your husband were to die what would be your fate? You may have a family to support you but what if that was not the case? No place to shelter your babies and no food to feed them, would you oppose polygyny then? What if you were single with little hope of marriage except to a married brother, would you refuse or accept and complete half your faith?

    We should want for others what we want and have for ourselves. The ummah will remain weak until we look out for our sisters. By accepting polygyny we create a stable ummah without excessive backbiting and gossip. We help Muslimahs find love, friendship and maintainers. We enable sisters to have a family or care for the one they already have. Instead of working to provide food and clothing she can teach her children Islam. She can study Islam herself and perform dawa. Instead of criticizing and complaining about polygyny praise Allah (swt) for this wonderous blessing.

  2. #2
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    Apr 2010


    Brother Abdul-Malik in this video talks about the hypocrisy that exists in society today.

  3. #3
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    Apr 2010



    Contemplating o­n Being a Second Wife?
    A SECOND WIFE, in fact even a third and a fourth wife, are in exactly the same category as a first wife. The norms of western society, which have been acquired by Muslims, have created in Muslim society similar attitudes of repugnance which westerners display towards a plurality of marriages.
    In the Qur’aan Majeed and in the Sunnah there is overwhelming evidence for the perfect permissibility of marrying more than o­ne wife. The life of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), of the Sahaabah and the great personalities of Islam in all ages are more than adequate evidence for the sanctity of the institution of polygamy in the same way as is the institution of monogamy. In fact, it is an attitude of kufr to hold in contempt polygamy. This attitude is tantamount to criticizing Allah Ta’ala who has made polygamy lawful, and it is an indirect assault o­n the practice of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), the Ambiya and the Sahaabah.


    Western society tolerates fornication and illicit associations by husbands and wives. But, a second marriage is unthinkable. Muslims who ape the west suffer from the very same irrational mental disease.

    Since the kufr draws filth and falsehood like a magnet draws steel, a compromise with the adultery committed by a husband and even a continued illicit relationship are acceptable to a wife. But never is a second wife tolerable to the first wife. Muslims too have inherited similar emotional stances, attitudes and ideas of the western kuffaar.

    Even Muslim wives and Muslims in general frown o­n a second marriage while wives and many others outrightly reject it. As a last resort to prevent the second marriage, the husband’s continued illicit relationship will be condoned with a blind eye, but not his Nikah which is viewed worse than adultery— Nauthubillaah!

    In view of the strong opposition of society and the wife in particular to a man marrying a second wife, most men who become entangled in illicit relationships, but are overwhelmed by remorse, endeavour to rectify the wrong in a clandestine way. Since they lack the courage to do what is proper, they enter into secret marriages.

    Clandestine marriages bring in their wake grave and heartbreaking consequences. Both the man and woman who contemplate such a marriage should reflect seriously and not enter into a union which resembles an illicit relationship.

    In other words, they should not enact a secret Nikah and conceal the holy bond from the community and the first wife.

    The opposition, taunts and criticism of society should be ignored. The Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala is of paramount importance, not the emotional eruptions and pleasure of the people. Deficiency of Imaan constrains men who contemplate second marriages to either opt for continuation of the illicit affair for fear of antagonising the first wife and society, or at best, they arrange a secret Nikah.

    Nikah, it should be understood, is a public institution. The teaching and spirit of Islam emphasise the public announcement of a Nikah. That is why the presence of witnesses is an integral constituent of the marriage ceremony which is not valid without witnesses. The public announcement of Nikah is of such great significance that according to the Maaliki Math-hab, it should be proclaimed and advertised with even the beating of the duff (drum).

    The Hadith states that the distinguishing feature between Nikah and zina is public announcement. While Nikah is publicly proclaimed and acclaimed, zina is concealed. Now if Nikah too is treated with secrecy, what difference is there between marriage and adultery?

    It therefore does not behove Muslims to conceal what is above board, pure and halaal. Concealing an illicit association is understandable, but not a halaal union enacted to obliterate the illicit affair. A marriage performed in secret and concealed from public knowledge is in conflict with the teaching and spirit of Islam.

    A secret marriage cannot be concealed for too long. Sooner or later the matter comes to the notice of people. Those who are unaware will justifiably believe that an adulterous affair is existing. When ultimately the Nikah becomes known, a storm erupts. If the Nikah was performed in accordance with the demands of the Shariah, the resultant effect would have been infinitely milder than the consequences of a secret marriage becoming public.

    The woman too should understand that she should not submit to the demanding emotions of the married man who is desirous of concealing the contemplated Nikah. It is most dishonourable for a woman to allow herself to be entrapped in such a marriage in which her position will be not much better than that of a mistress. While married, life will continue as if an illicit affair exists between herself and her husband.

    What pleasure and happiness can an honourable Muslim woman derive from a marriage which she has to conceal, and always duck and dive to save her ‘image’ and the ‘reputation’ of her husband? Over the years numerous such clandestine cases have passed through our office. The results are always miserable and grievous.

    A woman who accedes to a man’s desire for a clandestine nikah should understand that she will not be treated as a decent wife by her husband. She will live in suspense. She will not be favoured with the rights which a Nikah grants a wife. She will be denied the honour of running a home. The husband will violate most of her rights. She will live in frustration and despondency. Although a wife, wedded to her husband in Allah’s Name, she has to live in darkness and under a cloud of suspicion.

    After a lapse of time, the man tires of his secret wife. The glamour must necessarily wear thin. Then the serious problems begin. The woman comes to her senses when it is a bit too late.

    Never submit to a secret marriage proposal. If a man lacks the courage to publicly proclaim his second marriage, it is a sure sign that he will violate the rights of his second wife. He lacks in the quality of Islamic manhood. He marries her to soothe his conscience. His sole motive is sexual gratification. But a happy marriage is not based solely o­n this factor.

    If he refuses to have the Nikah in the Musjid and put you o­n the pedestal of Islamic wifehood, issue a firm refusal for your own sake. Do not open up the avenue of a miserable life for yourself by acting the part of a mistress under a veneer of marriage. http://www.themajlis.net/Article149.html

  4. #4
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    Jan 2007


    Great info, thanks for sharing! I take it you are open to the idea yourself?

  5. #5
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    Oct 2014
    Orlando, Florida


    This is true that Quran is for mankind guidance, and Islam is chosen for us and Allah told us how to live in this world, Indeed Allah knows the best. Polygyny is allow in Islam, we can only take some decision on the basis of our knowledge that it is good or not, but Allah decision is the best decision and Allah allow Muslims Polygyuy, indeed the above explanation muslimah105 is very nice, when we consider ourselves on the someone's situation then we can feel that person problem. May Allah guide us all on the right path Ameen.


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